I’m the Bad Person Congressman Mo Brooks Warned You About….

Those of you who know me and/or have followed my blog for some time now, will know  that in the second trimester of my pregnancy, I was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer called primary mediastinal large b-cell lymphoma.

At the time of my diagnosis, I was shocked.  A feeling I previously assumed would come as no surprise to anyone who heard my story….that is until I recently learned certain members of the US government believe I earned cancer via my own transgressions.


Since we all know any old Oompa Loompa can assume our nations highest position of power, I shouldn’t have been surprised that the stupidity and ignorance in Washington runs exceedingly deep.  Let’s face it people, this country of ours isn’t exactly being piloted by the world’s brightest minds….Merriam Webster recently felt compelled to correct the president’s grammar and wasn’t one of The Three Stooges named Mo?

Anyway, if you haven’t already seen, heard or read it, here’s what Mo had to say during a recent segment on CNN:

“My understanding is that it will allow insurance companies to require people who have higher health care costs to contribute more to the insurance pool that helps offset all of these costs thereby reducing the costs to those people who lead good lives. They’re healthy. They’ve done the things to keep their bodies healthy, and right now, those are the people who have done things the right way, who are seeing their costs skyrocketing.”

“Now, in fairness, a lot of those people with pre-existing conditions have those conditions through no fault of their own, and I think our society, under those circumstances, needs to help. The challenge though is that it’s a tough balancing act.”

Dear Mo:

I’d like to know exactly what qualifies you as a medical expert?  Did Trump University offer a crash course on medicine at some point?

Let me tell you a bit about my situation.  I was diagnosed with lymphoma in 2011.  I was the first and only member of my family to have been diagnosed with the disease.

You know what causes lymphoma, Mo?  Being born a fucking human.  Yep.  That’s about it.

Like most cancers, medical researchers don’t know what causes lymphoma, but they have been able to identify certain risk factors.  Among them:

Ethnicity and Location – In the US, white Americans are more likely to be diagnosed than any other race and the disease is more common in developed nations of the world.

So….I’m to blame for my race and country of origin?

Mo, you were a lawyer.  Tell me, can I sue my parents for this?  How about my ancestors?  Maybe I could sue God.  After all, he chose to make me and he chose to make me a human rather than, say, a goat.

Or perhaps you’ll next suggest that God was punishing people like me for all the bad things we’ve done in life by giving us cancer, cerebral palsy, Alzheimers, Parkinson’s disease, multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy, etc., etc., etc., and so the Federal Government is just doing God’s will.

And you know what?  It wouldn’t surprise me if you did.

So, full disclosure Mo.  Here are the worst things I’ve done in my life:

  1.  I’ve occasionally used the handicap stall in a public restroom and I am not handicap.  In my defense, I’ve never leap frogged over a wheel chair bound patron in order to claim it.  I just like the leg room and so I choose it when the restroom isn’t full.
  2. In the fifth grade, I had a teacher who was really mean to me, because my mother was a horrible pain in the ass who wasn’t happy unless she was making someone else miserable (interestingly enough, she’s never had cancer, which seems really unfair to me, but I digress).  My teacher, Mrs. K, used to make me leave the classroom in the middle of our lessons on a regular basis in order to fetch her glasses of water from the water fountain.  I once filled it from a toilet bowl.
  3. In the 9th grade, I attempted to steal a pink, plastic ring from the junior’s section at Kohls.  The ring cost maybe $5.00 and I had the money to pay for it, but the rest of my friends were testing those waters, so I jumped in too.  We all got caught and my mother pretty much beat me senseless, so I like to believe that one has been both paid for and forgiven.
  4. I used to regularly flip off my mom behind her back.  She totally deserved it though.
  5. I’ve received a total of five speeding tickets in my 21 years of driving.

Tell me Mo, which of these do you think pushed the big guy over the edge?


Let’s see then, what else has been linked to lymphoma?

Chemicals and Radiation – Some chemicals used in agriculture have been linked, as has nuclear radiation exposure.

As Ace Ventura would say:


Sounds to me like there is a real possibility I got lymphoma because the government failed to mandate restrictions that would prevent harmful chemicals from being used in agriculture.

I’ll admit, I might have a bit of culpability here….it’s possible I may have forgotten to wash off an apple or two over the years….but the liability really started a little bit closer to Washington….if you ask me Congressman.

And Mo, while I appreciate your sad attempt at backtracking when you said, “Now, in fairness, a lot of those people with pre-existing conditions have those conditions through no fault of their own, and I think our society, under those circumstances, needs to help. The challenge though is that it’s a tough balancing act.”

I’m curious to know who will be charged with striking that balance?  You and your cronies?  Sorry, but that makes me feel, well, vomit-like.

Perhaps….and it wouldn’t surprise me….your solution is to say, “Well, fuck all y’all!  Sucks to be you.”

To me, that sounds a bit like you’re suggesting we need to adopt a Hunger Games style of government.  One where the financially and physically fittest survive.  That’s nice.

Here’s the thing Mo….I’m not looking for a handout or a free ride of any kind.  I’d simply like a fair shot at a long and healthy life and I’m going to need access to proper and affordable medical care in order to do that.

I’ll admit I’m among the more fortunate.  I’m college educated and financially stable, but my resources are no match for cancer treatment and that’s true for the majority of families you people are supposed to be representing.

Excuse my naivety, Mo, but how about you geniuses put your head’s together and take into consideration the role that corporate greed has played in the driving up of costs….or are you all afraid to piss off your friends?

How about you think about the exorbitant amount of waste associated with frivolous law suits that drive up malpractice coverage for medical professionals and hospitals, which then drive up the costs for patients?

Or, maybe you could tackle the probable impact that pollution and other environmental abuses have had on our health.  But again, who wants to piss off their friends?

At the end of the day, Mo….I think the “bad” people you were talking about….are people like you.  I’m not a saint, but I will always be the type of person willing to pay a little more if it means that my fellow human beings have the same chance at a healthy life….because that’s what decent human beings do.

When Donald Trump rallied all you moron’s under the banner of “Make America Great Again,” what he actually meant was, “Make America Great Again For the People Who Matter.”

Sounds familiar.  Hitler didn’t care too much for the sick, or the elderly either.

And when Trump promised to “drain the swamp,” what he meant was, let’s drain it in order to make room for my own swamp monsters…. and that would be people like you, Mo.  But you know, I still have faith that this country will someday live up to the values I believe were intended….and I’m confidant it won’t be because of people like you.



2 Comments on “I’m the Bad Person Congressman Mo Brooks Warned You About….

  1. What the …head falls into hands… is that for real? charge people who NEED healthcare more because they haven’t looked after their bodies?!?! That’s outrageous, I actually don’t even have words!

    Liked by 1 person

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