Want Feet as Smooth as a Baby’s Ass?
While perusing through my Facebook feed the other day, I came across a review for a product called Baby Foot, an exfoliant foot peel. I was both grossed out and intrigued by what I read.
Baby Foot is essentially a chemical peel for your feet that promises to remove the most hardened layers of old skin and leave you with feet last seen the day you were born.
Admittedly, I’m a little obsessed when it comes to my feet. A few years ago, while I was getting a pedicure, I saw a technician use a Dremel tool on another patron’s foot. In that moment, I promised myself that my feet would never require the use of a power tool and I’ve been fairly conscientious about their maintenance ever since.
The dry winter weather always takes its toll though and since I find it hard to justify the expense of a pedicure throughout the winter months, I’ll admit my feet are not typically at their best come spring.
After reading through dozens of reviews and subjecting myself to a whole host of seriously gross images other customers shared of the product at work (imagine foot skin shedding, fully intact like a snakes and you’ve got it right) I decided to try it out for myself.
I ordered the product through Amazon and waited impatiently for it to arrive. While I waited, I reviewed more online reviews and jotted down some notes regarding tips other users suggested for getting the best results possible.
When the package finally arrived, I followed the instructions on the box, first washing and drying my feet and then inserting each foot into a plastic booty that came pre-filled with the magic elixir. I then sat back and allowed my feet to slosh around in the goo for an hour.
The packaging made it clear that I should not expect immediate results. In fact, it advised that I should be prepared to wait for several days. Waiting is not my strong suit, so I did what other users suggested and soaked my feet every evening in order to help expedite and maximize the process.
Then, the peeling began. And seriously folks, I had no idea how disgusting my feet actually were until swaths of skin began falling off of them. As I sat on the edge of the bathtub….grateful for my improved flexibility thanks to weekly yoga….carefully plucking away chunks of lose skin, I was mesmerized.
While I might have previously been able to shimmy up a tree with my bare feet, or casually take a stroll along hot coals, my new skin looked too sensitive to touch, let alone walk on.
As the days went by, I continued to shed….even my toe mounds and the arches of my feet were rejuvenated. Lying in bed one evening, I attempted to use my heel to scratch an itch on one of my calves. Instead of the sandpaper-like texture I had come to rely upon in these moments, I felt an unfamiliar, velvety softness instead.
I began to curse the sham that I now believe the pedicure industry to be. For approximately $20.00, my skin went through a total re-birth AND it was disgustingly fun.
Of course, I’ll still get the routine pedicure. When I paint my own toes it ends up looking like the artwork of a toddler trying to color in the lines….and I do love a good foot massage….but no longer will I shell out the big bucks for a Whipped Honey and Nectar Pedicure, or any of the other high priced spa treatments that have never managed to yield results this good.
I debated whether or not I should attach pictures of my before, during and after. But a glance at the analytics associated with the search terms people have used to find my tiny corner of the internet, is proof positive that I mostly attract perverts….and I refuse to give them the satisfaction. Also….ick.
If you’re curious though, Google won’t let you down.