Oops, They Did it Again….
This morning, while I was scrolling through my very short Facebook newsfeed (I unfollowed and/or unfriended a large number of people due to their political commentary….side note here, I didn’t unfriend / unfollow because I don’t like their opinions regarding the issues. I unfriended / unfollowed, because I don’t have any respect for people who are casting votes based on “facts” gleaned from internet memes and conspiracy theories….also, I don’t have any respect for people who are racist assholes).
Anyway, as I was scrolling through, I came across an article a friend shared regarding the 2016 Starbuck’s “Holiday” cup. Apparently, it’s getting the same warm reception as last year’s version….the Jesus hating red cup. ‘Tis the Season to Bitch About Something.
So, immediately, I hopped in the car and headed over to pay a visit to my favorite Barista in order to check it out. (So yeah, I fell off the wagon, but only for today….seriously….how am I supposed to write about the topic using only the internet for research? Is that responsible reporting? I think not).
When Hopper (yup, that’s his actual name) passed my green cup through the drive-thru window, my hands were shaking too much from withdrawal to get a good look at it, but once I was a few sips in, I was able to really study the cup.
It’s green….Christmasy….and it has a bunch of people sketched all over it. Sure, there’s no Christmas tree or the baby Jesus, but the people all look happy….so what’s the big deal?
Is it a “Where’s Waldo” kind of thing? Is there an Atheist or a non-Christmas celebrating person etched on the cup somewhere?
Is there a Dreidel? A Menorah?
Are one of the seven principles of the Kawaida spelled out somewhere among the scribbles….Umoja (Unity), perhaps….and if so, seriously, who the hell wants to strive for and maintain unity in the family, community, nation and race? I mean, if that’s not a bunch of non-Christian bull-shit, I don’t know what is.
I did a little more research….yeah, on the internet….and found that when Starbuck’s revealed the cup on Twitter, they posted: “Friends, baristas, and customers drawn in one continuous line—reminding us we’re all connected.”
Seems like a nice idea, but not everyone thinks so….
Uh, @Tuneinow, they said, “Friends, baristas and customers,” I don’t think they were talking to you.
But wait a second….it’s November. Just because Target has decided it’s time for Christmas, doesn’t mean Starbuck’s agree’s. Could it be this is not the Starbuck’s holiday cup after all?
Is it possible, that in advance of our upcoming, rather tumultuous election, that Starbuck’s has released an election cup? One with a very non-Christian, anti-humanity message about unity? Those heathen bastards!
Archie Bunker agrees….though I bet he tweeted this from a Starbuck’s yesterday morning.
Seriously, calm down, America! It’s a cup and probably not even the holiday cup. There is still a month to go before Starbuck’s puts the final nail in the cross of Christianity and the 2016 War on Christmas really begins.
Don’t waste all your good Tweets prematurely. You’ll have an entire month to rail against the Leftist “Happy Holidays” wishing, “Jesus Ain’t the Reason for the Season” spouting, non-Christian believing, Hanukkah and Kwanzaa celebrating, “united we stand, divided we fall” assholes who are driving this country right into the ground!
But whether it’s a message before the election or a message about the holiday season, if you’re really the type of person who believes that as people, we’re better off when we stand divided, then Earth probably isn’t the best place for you. It’s a pretty populated place. One that’s full of people from all walks of life with hopes, dreams, goals and belief systems. Their beliefs might not mirror yours, but at their core, they might not be so different either. If you weren’t such a coward, you might actually discover you’re probably more alike than you think.
Also, if you’re really the type of person who get’s this bent out of shape over a cup….you should probably stop drinking latte’s.