The News You Can Use….For Nothing Useful

Meet Jennifer Elizabeth Green Johnson.  The worlds worst teacher….at least this week.


While catching up on the latest news reports….the news reported by US Weekly….I came upon a headline that wasn’t about Brangelina, but still made me laugh so hard, I first choked and then wet myself.  I’m not even joking.

The headline read:

Suspended Teacher Allegedly Told Student to ‘Lick Me Where I Fart.’  The original article can be found here.  Lick Me Where I Fart, by US Weekly

Ms. Green-Johnson is an educator in Canada where she teaches grades 10-12.  According to reports, this isn’t her first inappropriate outburst directed at students.  Apparently, she has a rather long history of making these types of comments.

She’s been reported for having once advised a student that his/her “ass cheeks were too close together” and also for publicly shaming a female student in front of her peers by announcing that the student looked like a “frumpy, old lady.”  

OK….frumpy, old pot.

There are also the more run of the mill, less creative, insults she’s allegedly hurled.  Like, telling students to “F*ck off” and “Grow some balls.

I’m not entirely sure where she learned to be a teacher, but I think its time she sought out another career path….perhaps in the prison system….I think she’d fit in nicely there.

Undoubtedly, there are many people up in arms over her behavior, from the school board to her peers and the parents of her students.  Given her track record, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn this latest slip in decorum is the straw that breaks the camels back and effectively ends her teaching career.

Though nothing could reasonably justify her actions, I would love to know just what she was thinking.

Really, who says that?  What kind of mind thinks, “You know, I’m about to take kiss my ass to the next level.”  BAM!  

And I wonder….would she have coffee with me?


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