Saying Prayers in the Streetlight….(Gangsta’s Paradise)

I’m 35, but will I live to see 36?  The way things are going….I don’t know.

Shit’s going down in my town.  Our fancy facade is beginning to crumble like a Petit-Beurre and I’m concerned that Section 8 housing and an overabundance of domestic vehicles cruising down Main Street is in our very near future.

Time to start locking up tight at night people….it’s getting real out there.

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 2.41.18 PM

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 2.42.29 PM

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 2.42.47 PM

Well….if he is up to no good….it’s smart of him to blend in with the surroundings.  Very sophisticated.  I think the tell-tale sign though would be whether or not the Beamer has cloth seats….ick.

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 2.43.37 PM

You know….I too would like to be sure he is, in fact, NOT a vampire.

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 2.43.17 PM

That’s code for “meet me in Wonder-Woman’s lair!” 

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 2.43.55 PM

She said it…not me.

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 2.46.39 PM

Wait….there is an area of town referred to as “The Gulch?”  WTF….this isn’t Arkansas.  

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 2.47.05 PM

Yes….Jansport backpacks are the very newest thing….right up there with dial-up internet and MySpace.

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 2.47.25 PMIt all starts with a Jansport….next thing you know, you’re huddled in an ally off Park Street with a dirty needle.  

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 2.49.51 PM

What does cause backpack wearing, I wonder?  Does it start with a fanny pack?

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 2.48.05 PM

36 likes and no comment on her inappropriate use of the word “your?”

Also, maybe he was afraid if he gave them a sandwich they would keep coming back….like a stray cat.

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 2.48.19 PM

Either I am painfully unobservant, or I joined the wrong community FB page.  Where are all these dumpster diving homeless people hanging out?  The only person I’ve ever seen going through my garbage is the guy who drives a Hummer with a trailer attached and collects discarded metal.

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 2.52.16 PMGeez, Patricia….help a dude out!  The man’s got two jobs and you’re here on a Thursday afternoon.

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 2.53.25 PMAgain with the grammar!  Also….not cool wishing homelessness on us, Denise.  You know how much we need central air.  That’s just mean.

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 2.55.08 PM

Damn straight, Eugene.  This is New England.

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 4.01.54 PM

Trouble on Mansion Road.

I’m not surprised.  Everyone knows that unless you live north of Millionaire Terrace and west of Daddy Warbuck’s
Lane, you’re on the wrong side of the tracks.

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 4.02.40 PM

Who could possibly focus on the tree growing out of the chimney when there is a mish-mash of modern additions to ponder?

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 4.03.25 PM

Is it located in “The Gulch?”

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 4.03.34 PM

Well, Marty….they are probably too busy responding to calls regarding Jansport wearing vagabonds and old white guys driving BMW’s.

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 4.03.42 PM

Sure, sure….that’s what they all say east of Scrooge McDuck Boulevard.

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 4.03.53 PM

Only in “The Gulch” Alice.

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 4.06.04 PM

As you should be south of Aaron Spelling Avenue.

Screen Shot 2015-07-15 at 4.06.32 PM

Right on, Kelly!  It starts with vandalizing golf carts at the country club and ends with a Jansport, a BMW and some crack in The Gulch.  Time to scare these little hooligans straight!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: