“Something stinks in suburbia” ~ Can’t Buy Me Love

I live in a very nice suburban community just north of the city of Boston.  It has a beautiful town center nestled around a large lake with a paved path all the way around for walking, running, biking, etc.

There is a large white gazebo where concerts are sometimes held throughout the summer months and an expansive lawn area that is often sprinkled with people picnicking, exercising, flying kites, sprawled out with a book, playing games or chasing their children.

It’s pretty and tidy and quaint and it often reminds me of a Norman Rockwell painting.

And then sometimes….it’s like a Monet.


My town has a community Facebook page and most of the time, the comments are the very epitome of complaints from a bunch of people with nothing but first world problems.

In the last thirty minutes alone, there were two different posts related to malfunctioning central air units and “OMG, I need a recommendation for repairs ASAP!  Dying!”

I, myself, posted something the other day asking for recommendations for cupcakes….and not grocery store cupcakes either….so yeah, I lump myself in there too.

The page is full of complaints about road conditions, traffic patterns, school drop-off/pick-up etiquette, the recycling schedule, yard-sale announcements, business pitches, pleas for lost pets and recommendations and reviews on everything from restaurants to salons.

Other times, the posts are incredibly random.  Like, the other day a woman posted something about her upstairs neighbor smoking pot.

I was in a bit of snarky mood, so I replied by posting, “Kind of a random thing to post on a community Facebook page.  If you’re hoping to rally us townsfolk to arm ourselves with pitchforks and torches, you’ll have to give us your address.” 

Most of the time, the posts are somewhat dull, but occasionally, posts become heated….especially if town politics or the public school system are involved.

And then sometimes….this happens.

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I guess this is what happens when you tick-off a former employee in the age of social media.  It’s Toilet Papering for the Millennial generation.   

Well played Dustin….you’ll probably never find another job locally, but neither will Ray.

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Ah….the old, “Well, he’s a drug addict” defense.  As timeless and true as the idea that you should never give a homeless person a dollar, because he’ll probably just spend it on booze.

Nice response though, Dustin!  Look at him working those 12 Steps!

Wait a second….Elsa smokes?  I bet Dustin got her hooked.

And then, in comes Captain Obvious…. but, I agree Crystal….not cool to tell someone to kill themselves….that is, indeed, terrible….but he may have gotten Elsa hooked on Camels, so….

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The shameless plug!  Nicely done Bill!  You are the like the Kanye West of the burbs!

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I agree with Brian….Ray should have also offered to include a shiv with that lube care package.  That would have been the classier thing to do….everyone know’s you need a shiv in there too.

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Um….I’m with Michelle on this one.  Mostly, I’d just like to know how Frank happened upon this Meme….did he Google the question and why?  For me, it’s one of those little mysteries in life best left unsolved.

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If I had a dime for everyone that told me to kill myself, I’d have zero dimes.  I think Liz needs some new friends.  

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I’ll bet this thread is about as classy as free porn too….also, I wonder how Rafael’s lovely wife feels about it.  I hope she’s not in the PTA….or a Girl Scout leader.  

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Well timed!  I feel like Beck (Ray) should give all of his landscaping tools to Beyonce (Jeff) too.

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I kind of hope I run into Frank someday…..

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