As Seen on TV….

Another week of gainful employment has come to a close….here are a few highlights from how I earned my paycheck.

1.  An applicant from a very small town in the Southwestern United States told me he’s wanted to relocate to Boston ever since he saw Good Will Hunting.  I asked him if it had ever taken him 67 minutes to go three miles in rush hour….or when it’s raining….or snowing….or too sunny….or on ANY GIVEN DAY….and if he realized the crappy apartment Matt Damon’s character lives in probably cost $2,000 a month….you know, the stuff they don’t show in movies.

2.  I have a new inductee to the Applicant Email Address Hall of Shame:

TheBlazingBobo@I guess it’s better than Pennywise…. “They float, they all float….and when you’re down here with us, you’ll float too”.SHUDDER.org

3.  I was inadvertently asked to participate in a conference call to discuss a project that could ultimately lead to the elimination of my position.  In the words of Cher Horowitz from Clueless….“That was way harsh.”

Clueless-12

4.  Real World….Mid-Life Crisis Edition has come and gone.  (See prior post).  I won the menu debate and talked my partner into making several simple casserole dishes for the Seven-Middle-Aged Dwarfs on our night to cook.

♦Happy scarfed happily.

♦Doc, who is newly vegan, passed on the casserole in favor of two cans of Hormel Chili (the non-vegeterian kind) and then tried to pretend he wasn’t the one passing the occasional SBD, (silent but deadly), later in the evening.

♦Grumpy, who has diabetes, had no dietary concerns regarding the casseroles, but opted to make himself a deli sandwich with a bag of chips instead….because he doesn’t like eating things that might be crunchy…..because chips aren’t crunchy at all.

♦Sleepy, who was recently advised by his doctor he has high cholesterol, ate the casserole made from heart healthy ingredients and then ate half a gallon of ice cream….the nutritional content of which has more fat than a hamburger and more cholesterol than ten glazed doughnuts. 

♦Bashful, who gets wicked heartburn, ate three large servings of casserole and then complained about heartburn the rest of evening….while enjoying a roll of Tums and a bottle of red wine.  

♦Sneezy, who was recently diagnosed with Celiac disease, disappeared during dinner and remerged later to consume a bowl of gluten free Rice Chex and smoke a cigar.

♦Dopey, who had a heart attack a few months ago and is on a strict weight loss diet, also enjoyed the casserole made with heart healthy ingredients….along with the other half gallon of ice cream and multiple chocolate fudge brownies and a Jack Daniels and Diet to wash it all down.

This Snow White felt a little less Snow White’ish and a little more Lizzie Borden’ish by the time the trip was over.

5.  I spent most of today online shopping and writing this blog entry….it’s my way of sticking it to the man!

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